Well, today has been a funny day for me and now I am going to rant about it!!! So, if you don’t like rants you might want to get away from this stat right now!! 1.) If you hire a musician for a funeral please have the money ready or the check written before the funeral. No one wants to sit and wait on their money while some old lady looks for a ink pen to write out a check or wait on her to reach… into her bra past her old titties and pull out the money!! 2.) If you are a singer at a funeral and you decide to change keys without notice and the key change wasn’t musical……..kill yourself!!!! 3.) Please don’t keep getting up in between every person on the program at the funeral and keep saying “this isn’t a funeral this is a home going”! Those weren’t church folks!! They were hood and they had no clue what that meant!! 4.) How many people does it really take to start a CD to playing? Y’all dumb sound crew had the praise dancer waiting almost 2 minutes (literally) on the CD to play!! Y’all needed 2 extra folks to go up there before the young lady trying to run sound could find the button that said play? Pwahahahaha!!!!! STUPID!!!!! 5.) Who in the hell does a praise dance to Stomp by Kirk Franklin at a funeral? 6.) Who sings Tomorrow by The Winan’s at a funeral? There is no tomorrow for the person in the casket! So,why keep reminding the fa of that? Kill yourself!!! 7.) Why did the pastor of the church where the funeral was held think that I wanted to follow them to the cemetery, then drive back to the church and east with them and then get paid? WTH was he smoking? I was hired to play!! I didn’t make them wait on the music so why should I be expected to wait on my money? 8.) To top it off, as I bring my rant to a close, the lady had the nerve to spell my name wrong on the check and then ask if it would be OK? In said the bank might have a problem with me trying to cash a check and my License has a different name on it! So then she had an attitude while writing out the new check and spelling my name correctly!! Kill yourself old lady!!! Now, you can all go back to your regularly scheduled programming!!!
Part 2 to my previous rant………………. 1.) So the pastor of the church asked me what church I played for and as soon as I started telling him the name of the church he was like oh OK. I was like so I guess he thought I wasn’t playing anywhere. He has a musician and is still looking? That’s a little shady to me!!! #NoLoyalty 2.) So, while the pastor was walking in the family for the funeral,… he didn’t plan on there being so many people being apart of the family. He ran out of scriptures to read and he just started quoting random scriptures! LOL! Who quotes John 3:16-17 while the family is walking in? LOL!!! 3.) The lady who was the M.C. for the funeral tried to read a condolence and couldn’t pronounce most of the words on the paper!! I felt like I was listing to a 1st grader trying to read the constitution on their first day of school!! LOL!! 4.) So, the pastor of the church felt he needed to show me where the organ was and I was like well I would think it was that big wooden console that says Hammond on it, with the big bass pedals and the two manual keyboards! Then he asked if I knew how to turn it on! I was thinking about saying no to see if he knew how to turn it on! LOL! 5.) There was a young guy sitting behind the organ and during the parting view, I guess he was watching me run the bass pedals and I could hear him as he talked to his funny looking girlfriend!! Dude said “Damn baby, look at this nigga foot! I bet he can tap dance his @$$ off” LOL!! What do bass pedals have to do with tap dancing? Pwahahahaha!!! Now, I am officially done with my ranting for today!!! LOL!!!